What in the World?

Like all kids, sometimes the words that come out of my kids’ mouths make me say, “What in the world?” Sometimes the words just make me laugh. Maybe they’ll make you smile today, too.

Little E saw a baby bird outside and wanted to keep it, saying that she loved baby birds. I reminded her that baby birds grow up–they don’t stay little forever. She said in a sly tone, “Only if we feed them…”

I don’t know how a grain can become popular, but I do know that quinoa (pronounced “KEEN-wah”) is currently a popular grain. I served it for the first time tonight, mixed with some other grains, and Greg asked, “What is quinoa?” Mr. C immediately answered, “You don’t know what quinoa is?? You have to go to the store to the robots and ask them about King Whopper.” Knowing Mr. C had no idea what quinoa was, either, I inquired who King Whopper was. He answered by asking, “Why is ‘kingwa’ a king?”

One time, JP was in the backyard going up and down the slide. I’m not sure why now, but I kept asking him, “Are you going up or down?” Ever since then, whenever he goes down a slide (and at other times), he says, “Upodown! Upodown!” I think I confused him a little.

Little E: I want to be blind!
Me: But if you’re blind, you won’t be able to see colors or any of the people you love!
Little E: Yeah! And sparkly shirts!
Little E: I want to be blind in one eye.

When it was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A, my kids and I all dressed up fully as cows. Believe me, I would dress myself and my kids in something worse than that for four free chicken meals! I decided to make tails, too, out of yarn, but I didn’t make my tail long enough in proportion with my body size. I knew that when Mr. C said, “That’s a little tail for such a big cow!” Thanks, Mr. C. I guess Heifer is a better name for me than Heather after all!

Little E loves playing her princess video game on the Wii. When it starts, it plays flowery music, like what you would expect in a princess game. Every time it comes on, Little E says to herself in a sing-songy voice in tune with the music, “It’s a lovely day!”

Even though Mr. C, who is going into 1st grade, still has a crush on a little girl who was in his preschool class (and who he hasn’t seen since then), he thinks kisses are gross. Whenever Greg and I kiss in front of him, he compares it to what belongs in the toilet. The last time he caught us kissing, he said to Little E, “Isn’t it ewy to kiss?!!” I’m sorry–I don’t know how else to spell that ‘word.’

Little E has a little pretend bottle filled with fake grape juice–you know the kind–when you tip it upside down, it seems to empty. JP had it one evening and sucked on it like it was a real bottle for about 15 minutes while he watched Cinderella with Little E. After all that time went by, he came to me and holding it up to me, said, “More!”

Little E was watching out her side car window as we drove on a freeway that cut through the woods–thick, dense woods, in which you couldn’t see past the first trees. Suddenly, she piped up, saying, “I saw a poky thing sticking out of the trees!” When I asked her what it was, she said, “I think it was a fox’s ear!”

JP walked by Little E with a strainer on his head–I guess he thought it was a fun hat.
Little E: JP has a flash bud on his head.
Me: A flash bud?
Little E: Uh huh.
Me: What’s a flash bud?
Little E: What JP has on his head!
Oh, of course!

Little E: Look at that! So beautiful, like a shining car!
Little E: I shouldn’t have said that. I want a shining car now.

I made a Sesame Street sign for JP’s 2nd birthday party, and I was looking at it with a critical eye, not sure that I liked it. When I asked Greg if he thought the writing was too big, he told me that it was fine. Mr. C immediately said, “He always thinks it’s ok. Because he likes you.”


3 thoughts on “What in the World?

  1. I laughed so hard I had to get a tissue! Maybe it’s partly because I know the kids and can totally hear them saying those things. So funny!


  2. I love the way kids think! And I love the laughter they bring into our everyday lives. Thanks for sharing–I needed a laugh this morning!


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