Enough

Here we go…IMG_4650

Christmas is coming earlier for our family this year. We’re going out to see my side of the family for Thanksgiving this year and because of that, we can’t afford to go out for Christmas, too. As a result, we’ll be exchanging gifts with family early while we’ll be with them.

My family, on both sides, have been doing Amazon Christmases for many years. We all expect each other to put a variety of items on our Amazon wish lists, and we each pick out what we want to buy each other from those lists. It makes Christmas gifting fairly fool-proof (except for when Amazon malfunctions and doesn’t take items off our lists when they are purchased–one year we had multiple duplicates). In addition, we all feel pretty good that we’ve gotten each other something desired. This is especially useful in a family that lives far from each other.

It even temporarily solves the problem of the children asking for toys they saw at the store or at a friend’s house. “You want that? Put it on your wish list! You might not get it, but someone might buy it for you at Christmas or on your birthday.” This satisfies them for the most part.

The problem comes when the children want me to add yet another item to their wish lists. This usually occurs after a trip to Target when we’ve ventured into the toy aisles to buy a gift for a birthday party. They don’t want me to wait until after lunch or anything else–they are desperate, to the point of tears, to add that item now. It brings out the selfish “I want” in them, and they actually think they will not be happy unless they get that coveted seventh Star Wars Lego set or the Tinker Bell that actually flies. I tell them, “Having that one more thing will not make you happy. In fact, soon after you get it, you’ll just want one more thing until you learn how to be thankful for what you do have.” It’s so obvious when I see it in them and easy for me to condemn them…until I see it in me.

The other day I was busy adding to my wish list (knowing all along that several gift givers may have already done their shopping). I like to have lots of items on the list so the gift givers have more choices and so I’ll be more likely to be surprised. However, all that adding of items started waking the greed I had seen in my children. Dissatisfaction for what I already had started creeping into my heart.

Enough.

Do I really believe Jesus is enough for me? Do I believe He has given me all I need? How about that He “has blessed us with every spiritual blessing” (Ephesians 1:3)? Are spiritual blessings are even enough for me?

Recently my pastor did a sermon on this topic. It included a video showing how we go through our lives, never feeling like it’s enough. Here’s a link to the video, which you’ll find at the beginning of my pastor’s sermon. Life lived without Jesus isn’t enough and will never fully feel that way, and I know Jesus is the answer to that.When I go about living life without a thought for Him, it never feels enough.

I know He is enough, and yet I let my heart be turned by inconsequentials like a curling iron that promises to turn out those beachy waves I’ve been seeing on girls’ hair in magazines. I would never say it aloud, but do I think in my heart that I would somehow be better or that I would be closer to enough, if I could get my hair or fashion just right? Sure, I love Jesus, but will I truly be happy if I don’t have a new pair of boots, too? Sure, I already have one beautiful pair of black boots, but what about that pretty dark natural brown color I’ve seen on boots on so many women? And a colorful new infinity scarf, and, and, and…816T16AlwTL._UX522_

Is it that Jesus isn’t enough for me or that I want to be enough for myself? I don’t think this has completely taken over my heart yet, but if I’m not careful, I think it could. I don’t think the wish list in and of itself is wrong, but when I start feeling dissatisfied with what I have and who I am just because of items I don’t have, then I have a problem.

May I be satisfied instead with my God and with the multiple blessings He’s given me. I have a journal that I’m very slowly filling up with thanksgiving, as I was challenged to do by Ann Voskamp in her book One Thousand Gifts (there’s a book to put on your Amazon wish list if you haven’t already read it). It’s apt that Thanksgiving comes right before Christmas. As I face the temptation to turn the focus of Christmas to what I’m going to get, I plan to dig deep in thanksgiving and try to teach my children to do the same. Maybe it’s a good thing my family is having Thanksgiving and Christmas at the same time.

“Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14).

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