by Heather Bock
Don’t miss a chance to win this book at the end of this post!
I thought I was pretty good at submission. My husband Greg makes it seem that way because he’s a good leader. He never tries to forcibly lead me into anything. God knew I needed a husband like that; I’m stubborn with strong opinions (like the rest of my side of the family), so it’s good to be married to someone who comes at decisions by asking what I think instead of first telling me what he thinks we should do. Oh, believe me, he has an opinion about what we should do, and he’s just as strong in his views as I am, but he’s not so proud that he can’t be persuaded with good reason. Part of why I married him was because I knew I couldn’t marry someone too easy-going, or I would run all over him and easily lose respect for him.
However, even though Greg has strong views, he doesn’t bring them up continually, so it can be easy to do what I want for a time even with his protests voiced. Thankfully, he always comes back eventually with the same concerns. God has used his leadership to help me let go of what I’ve held too tightly. Sometimes, though, I let go of something for a time or shove it somewhere else to make him happy, thinking I was submitting, but then find it reemerging a few weeks or months later. I had never truly given it up, or it wouldn’t have come back.
Enter Jen Weaver.
Jen is someone I was privileged to meet at Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference. When I heard she had written a book, I was excited to read it and review it for her. I had no idea how God was going to use it to convict me about submission. Her book is called A Wife’s Secret to Happiness: Receiving, Honoring, & Celebrating God’s Role for You in Your Marriage.
God showed me through this book that I need to talk to Greg about new projects before taking them on, getting his OK before I start another one. Greg is one of the wisest people I know, so I should do this anyway, but also, as Jen says,
“I want the blessing, unity, and company of his partnership. We seek unanimous decisions, but Jared has the final word and final responsibility before God for what happens to our family. Sure, it’s hard when we disagree. But I fight to submit. I’d rather reach 10 percent of my dreams but live approved by God than fulfill 90 percent of my passions in resistance to my husband’s leadership and, therefore, outside God’s favor.”
Sometimes submission to your husband can seem scary—what if he’s wrong? I love one of Jen’s answers to this. We might be tempted to say, “Buuut Gawwd!” in a whiny voice when it doesn’t look like we’re going to get what we want due to submission. However, He wants us instead to remember that sometimes life seems hard, but God makes a way. This requires faith, and I think that’s what it comes down to—trusting God to take care of the outcome while we do what God’s asked us to do.
Jen is not saying we don’t have voices as women. I’m thankful that she clearly shows that submission does not mean I must be silent. I have God-given wisdom, a different perspective, and the ability to share my viewpoint. In fact, she says if I don’t speak up, I am not fulfilling my calling as a wife. I am not helping my husband see another side that he might not see. Jen addresses much more than what I’ve mentioned so far. She shows that God’s design for marriage is full of blessings and makes those blessings clear.
I force myself to read a lot of non-fiction books when I’d much rather be reading fiction because I want to learn about one topic or another. This book is one of the few non-fiction books I actually enjoyed. Not only has God given Jen a lot of wisdom in the area of marital relationships, but her style of writing is just so much fun. I can relate to her, too. I find myself nodding as I read. Let me give you an example:
“By the time Jared and I met, I had moved out of my parents’ home and family pets were faint memories. All but one. I consider myself a harmonious person, easygoing and gracious. But a few weeks into our relationship, I could tell Jared and my pet Peeves did not get along. So many of Jared’s natural tendencies ruffled little Peevie’s feathers. We’d make plans for him to pick me up at 6. Ready at 5:45, I’d often wait until 6:15…I didn’t even like Peeve. He was annoying and cumbersome, getting upset at the littlest issues that someone with my level of maturity (ahem) should overlook. But I’d stroke Peeve’s little ego. With each misstep, Peevie and I would exchange knowing glances, and I’d feed the pest to keep him quiet.”
Not only is Jen’s writing style fun, but she also gives so many extras in this book–more than 95 pages. She provides a quiz at the end of each chapter to help readers decide which “wifestyle” we use on each topic in the book. She gives questions to help us contemplate where our heart is. My favorite is the “Real Life #Wifestylin,” story at the end of each chapter from different wives who have dealt with and overcome the same issue. In addition, she provides a ton of bonus material to download from her website.
I recommend this book to any wife, but especially to those who struggle with submission. Jen makes a difficult topic doable and turns it on its head from what seems a curse to what it really is: a blessing.
If you want to learn more about Jen Weaver, I encourage you to go to her website, thejenweaver.com.
Also, this post is entered into a writer’s contest that depends on YOUR votes to determine the winner. I would love if you quickly went over to A Wife’s Secret to Happiness Writer’s Contest and clicked “like” under my picture!
If you’re intrigued and want to learn more about submission, I am giving away one copy of the book A wife’s Secret to Happiness by Jen Weaver. Here’s what you need to do to enter my giveaway:
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- Click the button “follow” in the above right column under my picture and type in your email address.
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Giveaways are open to residents of the continental U.S. and Canada only.
I will announce the winner next Wednesday, so look for it! If I don’t hear from the winner within a week, I will draw another name. Thank you!