Up on Daddy’s Shoulders: Trusting or Trembling?

by Heather Bock

Don’t miss a giveaway I have at the end of this post for a new Matt Redman cd!!

My youngest son, JP, has been a rather fearless kid. At two, he was climbing up to the top of the twisty tunnel slide with no problem (nothing like my other two). He went to bed in the pitch black at three years old–no need for a night light. He walks into new Sunday School classrooms confidently without a backwards glance.

However, when JP was four, I tried to hoist him onto my shoulders for a ride way up high. Instantly, he became an octopus, twining his arms and legs tightly around me, accidentally scratching my face in his terror of being dropped from such a height. “I’m not going to let you fall, sweetheart! You don’t have to be afraid. Trust me!” I coaxed him. My words were to no avail–he was scared out of his mind.

I’m not a very fearful person, either. Most of the time, I figure all will turn out ok in the end. I have God with me, right?

However, I realized a few days ago that last week I looked a lot like JP on my shoulders. It wasn’t so much that I was afraid of something that might happen or not happen–I was afraid God wouldn’t guide me in time. Truly, I’m still struggling with this fear. I didn’t think of it in those words last week. I spoke more about how the discernment of His specific will was sometimes hard (really hard). God spoke to me through the post I wrote last week, reminding me that He will make His guidance clear to me if I’m patient enough to wait. Although I knew He was talking to me through that line, it didn’t sink in right away.

When it did, I saw myself like JP, up on God’s capable shoulders, clinging in fear, scared to death He was going to drop me. I thought I trusted God, but when it comes to the unknown mixed with the unclear, my trust can be small.

How silly! God drop me? I’m talking about the One who gave His own Son to die because He loved the world (including me) even while we were still sinners (Jn. 3:16, Rom. 5:8). This is the same God who created the world (Gen. 1:1), who counts every hair on my head (Matt. 10:30), and who knows all things (I Jn. 3:20). He is my strong and wise Daddy. That I would cling in fear of Him is laughable. No, not laughable–it’s sad.

Just as I don’t want my son cowering as I hold him, God doesn’t want that for me, either. He calls to me the words I called to my boy: “I’m not going to let you fall, sweetheart! You don’t have to be afraid. Trust me!”

JP is now five. As I held him today, he actually maneuvered fearlessly up me so he could sit high on my shoulders. He sits securely up there now, back straight, head held high, arms relaxed as I hold his legs and walk through the house. I take him to the mirror so I can admire his confidence, and he grins at me and his reflection. This is what God wants for me. Confidence in Him–trust in Him–no matter what.

I just received Glory Song, a new worship cd by Matt Redman, a British singer whose songs I’ve loved for many years. In fact, my husband and I owned eight of his cds before this one. I enjoyed this new one very much; new vocals I hadn’t heard mixed with his music before brought a new sound: a little bit of American gospel, some UK rap, a few female worship leaders new to me all blended together with him in different songs. My heart soared as I heard the familiar tune I had sung so many times in my church as a child, “When We All Get to Heaven.” I worshiped with “It is Finished,” singing “Shame is silenced / Death defeated / Hallelujah, God be praised.” I was challenged by “Place of Praise,” with words calling me not to bring that which costs me nothing.

As I listened to the songs and read the lyrics by Matt Redman, I was struck by what is becoming a theme for me, a song called “Questions (You Are Faithful).” In it, he writes, “In all of our questions / All of our searching / When we are wrestling / You don’t let go / In all of our fears and doubts / All of our anxious thoughts / When we are restless / Still we are held.”

Still we are held. Whether I grasp or whether I sit up straight on His shoulders, still I am held by my Father.

“If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me…
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.”
Psalm 139:9-10, 17-18

If you’re interested in buying Matt Redman’s new cd, you can find it here.

Drawing for Matt Redman’s New CD

I am excited that I get to give away this very Matt Redman cd that I wrote about here, Glory Song. It is truly a blessing that I will get to bless someone else with it. If you would like to earn a chance to win this cd for free:

• Click the button “follow” in the above right column under my picture and type in your email address. You may have to follow up with an email sent to you to fully subscribe, so check your spam folder if it doesn’t arrive in your inbox. Please notify me in a comment of your name so I will know who to congratulate if you win!

To earn more entries, or if you’re already following my blog,

• Share this post via social media. Each share to a different social media venue earns you one entry (up to three).
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Giveaways are open to residents of the continental U.S. and Canada and are only open to those who have not won from me in the last year.

I will announce the winner on Wednesday, October 4, so look for it! If I don’t hear from the winner within a week, I will draw another name. Thank you!

Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255:  “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”):  Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway.  Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation.  I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller /FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days on the same blog, you are not eligible to win.  Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.  Winner is subject to eligibility verification.